Tori and Gunner Joining Our Family

I'm not sure what I have posted since our little people have joined our family so here is their birth story. Shortened a bit. Or a lot, I left out a lot of details.
January 4, 2012 I had an appointment to check on Tori and Gunner. Fluid was disappearing from around Tori and it seemed they had quit growing. :(
That morning Dr Young looked at the pics from the u/s and said, "How would you feel about having today be your babies' birthday?" I didn't think it was that great of an idea but it seemed the time had come they would be better off in the cruel world than inside their mommy's tummy. Talk about making mom feel like a failure. They weren't even born yet and I felt inadequate and like a failure. I was 35 wks pregnant on that day. Dr Young called the hospital and scheduled a c-section, told me not to eat or drink anything (including water) and to be at the hospital at 3:30 that afternoon.
When I left I called Allen at work and told him we were having our babies whether or not we were ready. I came home packed a hospital bag, took a shower and prayed. Allen came home at lunch and we were both a huge bundle of nerves.
On our way to the hospital we stopped at my parents and asked my dad to help with a priesthood blessing. Dad was sick. When we walked in the door I looked at him and my exact thought was he looks like death. No color and his eyes were pretty vacant. He gladly helped though. Then Allen told him we could wait and have someone help give him a priesthood blessing. Dad actually took him up on the offer.
We left for the hospital and they shortly left for a dr appt for dad. While waiting for my turn in the OR I was talking to mom who was in the ER with dad. The dr sent him straight to the hospital. His temp was over 106 and he didn't know if he was coming or going. He ended up in the hospital for quite some time. I like to believe my little munchkins talked him into sticking around for at least another few years on their way to their birth.
Tori was born first. Her cry was weak and squeaky. The nurse told me, "That cry means she's having a hard time breathing." I got to see her from across the room for a split second.
When Gunner was born there was no weak or squeaky about it. I got to see him to close to focus on for a total of about 2 seconds.
I sent Allen with them while they got cleaned up and taken care of. Meanwhile I got stitched up and taken back to recovery.
I was in the recovery room for a while just when they came to take me to my room Allen showed up. Most of the night I was alone because he was with our little ones. I wish I could've been with them but I wasn't allowed to go anywhere until the anesthesia wore off. Six hours later my backside and the bottoms of my feet were still numb but I had to get out of my bed so they could change the sheets because I threw up my slurpee Dr Young had brought me. LOL
Allen came in right after I paged the nurse to tell her what happened so he grabbed a wheel chair and took me down to the NICU so I could finally see the precious cargo I had been carrying for 7 1/2 months.
Tori had oxygen on in addition to all the wires to monitor her vitals. Gunner was just wired. I honestly don't remember the first thoughts I had but I remember the feeling of my heart sinking when I saw them because I knew they wouldn't be coming home with us and I was so disappointed in myself for not being able to carry them for just a couple more weeks. I think the drugs were still doing their thing.
Tori was off of oxygen and forced air by the time I checked out of the hospital. She was only on oxygen for six or eight hours then bumped down to forced air which she ripped off and proved to the nurse she didn't need it because there were no alarms going off when Allen and I came to see them and it had been removed by our little Tori.
The next couple days are all a blur because I didn't sleep more than a six hours total the two nights I stayed in the hospital. And with all the emotions...it was pretty traumatic really.
The night I came home (with no babies) it was late when we got home and there was a huge mess of construction type stuff in my living room and my house was freezing because our furnace was having problems. I had a break down and pretty much passed out on our bed. Even with hammering and air tools working on the nursery Allen said I didn't budge.
A week or so later while over at the hospital one of the nursed told me our babies were "eaters and growers". I asked what she meant. Her reply was they are doing really well so really we are just watching them eat and grow. This ticked me off. My thought was, "Well, they should be home for their Mom and Dad to watch them eat and grow. Not here."
Another week later we had found a pediatrician. One Dr Young had recommended. And we asked him how we go about having him take care of Tori and Gunner instead of Dr Gertsman. He pretty much took care of it. Although the day that their care was being transferred Dr Gertman came and found me and says to me, "I was told we have never met." I did not like this dude. I had never met him, I had seen him and wondered who he was but never had I even seen him around my babies. Just the NPs.

A few days later Dr Wise got them out of the clink for us and we brought them home on their 3 wk birthday, which also happened to be my nephew's birthday, January 26th. That's when the fun started!

Here is a pic of them when they were deemed healthy enough to cobed. I don't remember when exactly that was but it seems like it was a week or week and a half. The round band-aid looking thing on Tori's cheek was from the oxygen tube.

Almost a Year Later...

I only have a few minutes but wanted to share some updated pics of our two little 18 month olds.

7 Months and Going Strong

 Tori and Gunner will be 7 months old on the 4th. I can't believe it's been so long! They are growing like weeds fast and strong. So happy they are so healthy and it's fun to watch them grow, develop and learn new things. They are my life!

They definitely have a special bond. When they haven't seen each other for a while they always light up when they see the other. In the morning when Tori wakes up (she doesn't sleep as much as Gunner usually) When I get her out of her crib she leans over to look at Gunner almost as if she is checking on him.

They are so "tight" that I worry a little that they are making secret pacts that mom isn't supposed to know about.

Tori can belly crawl she just chooses not to at this point. Unless of course she wants something really bad. Then I'm not sure who goes faster, Gunner or Tori. She usually does this fly away looking thing.

They are both getting their own attitudes too.

They have also made the discovery of their feet. Gunner isn't near as flexible and can't quite get his toes to his mouth. But Tori...oh, Tori, we can't keep her feet out of her mouth.

They both chew on absolutely everything and especially cold objects. Tori even like is so much she will chase a bottle around a room too!

Gunner seems to be on the go from the time his eyes open until they close. He's our little crawler right now. I have a love-hate relationship with it. I love he's growing and developing but can't he please just slow it down a bit?

Gunner also thinks he is a little monkey now too! He climbs up everything he can.

As high as he can.

But sometimes he has a problem...he can't figure out how to get back to his hands and knees.

They are growing up so fast! Makes me want to cry.

Love'em so much!

Just a Few Pics

 We have a bit of sibling rivalry going. Even while they sleep. So often one of them turns in their sleep and can't help but kick the other one. Can't wait til they get older and it gets worse.

Here's Tori kicking Gunner in the ribs.

Gunner knows how to get even though. He fights back hard kicking Tori in the head.

There are times though they just have to be close without the hostility. I love when I go to check on them and they have wiggled so their heads are together. This happens more often than the not.

Sometimes we can just be taking pictures because they are so stinkin' cute...

then out of nowhere...Blamo! Right in the kisser!

These two keep me hoppin'. I am so glad my mom lives just 4 blocks away and loves to come and visit her grandbabies.

  Daddy loves lovin' on the two of them at the same time too!

You would never guess how proud he is of his two little ones, would ya?

This pic I just had to throw in.

Gunner seems to be out growing Tori by a little bit. This picture is the only one that I could find that really shows how much bigger he is than her. She's still my "baby girl" but he's my "big guy".

Can you tell whose hand is whose, just from the size? If not here is a hint: Tori's skin tone is olive like her daddy's.

 I love my family and I thank Heavenly Father for all of them every day! Allen is such an cute daddy and an amazing man, I wouldn't trade him for anything! Tori and Gunner, well, they are our little miracles and such a huge blessing in our lives and to our family!

Attack of RSV

On the 8th we took Gunner over to the ER because he had been sick for a couple days but Easter morning he was so bad. His sinuses were so full of boogers and he had drainage like no other going down his throat. It was to the point he couldn't eat because the drainage would make him gag and then he would throw everything up. Not that he could get much down due to the fact he couldn't breathe through his nose. It was so sad.
They tested him for RSV and it came out positive. Pretty much they said they couldn't do anything for it except suction his nose out and prescribe a nebulizer and write up an order for the "suction clinic". The suction clinic is just so we could take him over to the hospital anytime to get him suctioned. The order was good for two weeks. We also had him write an order for Tori since they co-bed and had been sharing bottles.
I am so glad my mom lives close and could come and help me! Gunner was sick for about a week super sick for 3 or 4 days. I would wake up and have to go make sure he was still breathing if I couldn't hear him through the monitor. He was on the mend and starting to feel better when Tori started on her way down. She too was sick for about a week and super sick for 3 or 4. Her nose and sinuses are a lot smaller than Gunner's so I kind of worried more about her at night when I couldn't hear her, in general her breathing was a lot louder and more labored. We ended up using the nebulizer on her more than him because her lungs tightened up worse and made it impossible for her to have productive coughs.
The thing that killed me though was the trying to eat and it making them cough and cough and cough then it would get the phlegm moving and make them gag and in the end there would be phlegm filled puke everywhere. Not only was it disgusting, it was one of the most frustrating things I have ever experienced because I couldn't fix it or stop it! Then they would look at me with red eyes from the whole experience and start crying. Talk about heartbreaking!
Before it was over we were ALL sick. And we were all exhausted. It seems though that things are on the up swing and we are all getting close to being over and done with it. YAY!
I wish someone could tell me I would never have to see my babies that sick again. Yes, I know, that kind of stuff just goes with the territory of being Mom.

Wow! 5 1/2 Months later!

Tons has happened since the last post. The whole birth story I won't be publishing on this blog because it belongs on my other blog so for those of you who check this blog I have pics and that's about it. :)

This is in the end of first week or the beginning of second. They still had their PICC lines in, and it was their first day cobedding.

This is in the end of the second or first of the third week when all they had left was the feeding tubes.

Third week within the first few days of being home.

6 wks old

9 1/2 wks old in their blessing outfits. They were blessed on March 4th, 8 1/2 wks old.

Allen and I are so blessed to have Tori and Gunner in our home! They raise a ruckus every now and then but life would be empty without them. Thank heaven for the little people!

20 Wk U/S

It's been a while since I've updated...
Our last u/s was on Sept 21st, it was our 20 wk u/s (just so happened it was 20 wks right on the button). We registered at the hospital and then went over to radiology. The first appt was at 1:00 ours wasn't until 2:30 but we were the first ones to show up so we got right in. That was nice, not having to wait.
Our tech was really nice, we both really liked her. She answered all of our questions and was really good at making sure we knew what we were looking at. She measured the circumference of their heads, stomachs and the length of their femurs. Somehow the computer takes those measurements and figures how much they weigh. The figured weights were 13 and 14 oz. Woohoo! Almost a pound a piece. lol
She also checked their hearts to make sure all 4 chambers were there and seem to be functioning correctly. At this point I asked her how big their little hearts would be. She told me they were probably about the size of a pea.
Honestly, how anyone can seriously think there is not a God, at least a supreme being, that created everything...I just don't get it. Think about it, at 7 wks on the u/s we could clearly see a flicker of a heartbeat, then just days later there is clearly 4 chambers to this little heart that is the size of a pea. Okay, climbing down off my soapbox now.
She looked at the umbilical cords to make sure they went around the bladder. I don't remember what it would send a red flag up for if it didn't. Luckily both our little one's had their cord going in and attaching where it was supposed to.
She also looked at and measured their stomachs. She checked some space in their skull around their brains...I wish I could remember what she called it. That's what I get for waiting so long to write it all down. She checked their little feet for club foot, their hands for all fingers, and their faces to make sure they didn't have clef pallet. Baby A had his arms up so his wrists crossed at about the bridge of his nose. So she was lucky to be able to see his lips and be sure there was no clef pallet.
Then came the fun part, finding out the genders. She started with Baby B. This little one was so cooperative and opened up his legs so she could get a clear shot of his boyness. He is definitely a boy.
She moved to find out Baby A's gender. This proved to be not so easy. His little legs were clamped shut and the cord wrapped right between his legs and around. She tried bouncing my tummy to get him to move. This way and that way. I've got to give her credit, she tried so hard for about 10 minutes. Baby A would not budge. Finally she said, "Well, I'm going to leave the gel on you and go get the perinatologist (high risk dr). He might want to try or look at something if the pics aren't good enough."
The dr came in looked through the pics and info on the computer and talked to us for a couple minutes. Then he tried to figure out the gender. He tried telling us it was a girl. Neither Allen or I believe it's a girl, we feel very strongly it's another boy. But we just kind of said okay, whatever.
The tech was there and waited for him to leave the room. As soon as the door shut she said, "I wouldn't bank on it being a girl." Then she showed us the picture he was looking at and explained what we were looking at was not the classic "3 lines" that shows it's a girl. We were looking at the cord wrapped between baby's legs and legs. The picture was good enough we could see that. Then she said, "I don't like anyone to leave without having at least an idea of what their having if they want to know. I'm gonna try again."
She poked and prodded and bounced my tummy some more. Little Baby A wouldn't move. Then she had me go pee. I guess sometimes that's all it takes to get them to move. I went pee. And I pushed and prodded and bounced my tummy just to try to ensure baby would've moved by the time I lay back down. Haha!! No such luck! That baby was still all balled up and legs shut tight.
So now we are anxiously awaiting the next u/s which isn't until the 19th of this month. If that little rascal is being uncooperative again, boy....there's gonna be trouble. lol

20 Wk U/S Pics

My Allen

I am soooo proud of my Allen! He started working out about a month ago. He's doing P90X of all things! I didn't think he would stick with it this long but he has. I am so proud of him. I feel bad though because now when we have a wee one he's gonna have a hot, hunky daddy and a big fat mommy! Maybe that will give me the motivation I'll need. Anywho, he has only lost 4 lbs so far but his muscles are growing and getting a lot more defined. It's not an easy program he works out for at least an hour every night, usually an hour and a half! Sure there are days he misses due to "life" happening but I think he's only missed three maybe four times! I just had to give a shout out to him because I am so proud of him! GO ALLEN!!!

New Arrival On It's Way!

We've been trying and waiting for a dozen years, but it's finally happened! We are expecting a little bundle of joy in February, the 8th to be exact! Today we are 12 1/2 weeks along. We tried naturally conceiving, foster care, and even adoption. None of them worked. Allen losing his job was the biggest blessing of all time!
I was excited for the future when he lost his job. I had no clue as to why at the time. I now know it was because that needed to happen in order to make it possible for our family to grow. His new insurance covered IVF. Lucky for us we only had to do one round! First try less than six months after he lost his job and we got pregnant!
I just hope now that we have gone public with it that nothing devastating will happen and we have to tell everyone it's not happening anymore. Everyone keep your fingers crossed and prayers would be appreciated too.