Sooo Much to Learn!

I started reading this book a couple of days ago. It's been a while since I read a book that was hard to put down. It's about a mom and dad who are dropping their son off at a nature retreat because he went to jail for drugs then when he got out within two weeks he was arrested for possession of prescription drugs. At this camp the parents are required to stay for two days to attend classes so they can help their kids when they pick them up in 60 days.
I don't really know how to explain what it's about but I think this paragraph from the book sums it up pretty well:
"Make no mistake. The outward wars around us started because of an inward war that went unnoticed: someone started seeing others as objects, and others used that as justification for doing the same. This is the germ, and germination, of war. When we're carrying this germ we're just wars waiting to happen."
Then it goes on to tell how to fix it so your heart can be at peace. When they first started talking about hearts at war and hearts at peace I was convinced my heart was at peace. Because I don't have any enemies to speak of but...ignorance is bliss.
The more I read the more I know I was so wrong! All I can think is this book was divinely inspired. The one perfect person who ever walked the face of the Earth had a heart at peace and that is why he could love everyone unconditionally.
It sounds dry but it really is a phenomenal book. It's not just yada yada yada, the story is cute and everyone knows someone just like Lou the main character. So it' easy to imagine in your head and picture it happening.
Allen told me I would like it; he was, of couse, right. He truely is my knight in shining armor! I'm gonna need to read a lot of books to catch up to him, I just wish there was a way I could process and remember the information like he does. No wonder why he is growing so fast and changing into this Superman (intellectually and emotionally).

LDSFS Profile Gone Live

Woohoo! Our LDS Family Services profile went live and guess what!!! Our pictures are even on it!! Yay!!! Now I guess it's really ALL about waiting.

Are we there yet?
How bout now?
I really wonder how Heavenly Father has the patients to listen to our begging and pleading for things that He knows is just not right for us...right now...and sometimes ever. Over the past 10 years I know he probably felt (knew) a good smackin' around would do me good. I just hope and pray that I have learned the things that I needed to learn. I know I haven't learned the patients I need, but being concious of my inpatients and being able to work on it, I think, puts me alot further than I was a decade ago. I hope far enough.Poor Allen having to wait around for me to stop being stubborn and just learn what is required. I REALLY hope, for his sake, that I have learned. He is so deserving of the title of Daddy, I'm sure he's wanted to smack me around a time or two too (not literally).
He only takes one time to learn anything, I'm sure Heavenly Father loves that about him. He's so stinkin' smart! I just love that man! He's smart, inventive, hard working, loving, patient, kind, gentle, and probably the best thing ever - accepting. He accepts me just how I am and loves me...even when I don't deserve it. But not only is he accepting, he approves AND appreciates me! What a stud!

I LOVE THIS DR ! ! !

Well, I had another appt with this Dr who knows a ton about PCOS. From the labs that he had done Dr Purser figured out that I DON'T have PCOS. Talk about frustration! That of course came after I peeled myself up off the floor. Ten years of believing something and it's wrong! But he suspects I have MODY , he's pretty sure of it actually. He tells me it's pretty rare, hence the reason doctors have a hard time diagnosing it. He had no problem telling me doesn't have enough knowledge of it to help me (which impressed me) but he does have another patient whom he diagnosed (correctly) with it that is seeing an endocrinologist that specializes in it, that is all he/she does and the coolest part about it...insurance should cover it! Yay! Hopefully, the genetic tests they run will come back positive and the mystery will be over. NO more treating symptoms!
Well, maybe that's not the coolest part, maybe the fact that he gave me his cell phone # and told me to let him know what I find out and how it's being treated and just to make sure to keep him informed the whole way through is the coolest part.
From his assistant that was there, we found out that he really loves helping PCOS women but he kind of specializes in Fibromyalgia. She said having her six kids caused Fibromyalgia and it got to the point that it was very hard to function just doing regular everyday stuff because of the pain, TMJ, fatigue and many other things; and Dr Purser has helped her get back to normal. She went on and on about it and how she loves him as a doctor. His web site which also has a link to his Fibromyalgia blog is http://www.aespmi.com/ but if you just want visit his blog it is http://www.realfibromyalgiarx.com/. I love this Dr. and I would recommend him to anyone and everyone! Because if he knows he can't help then he will send you somewhere that can. I am soooooo blessed to have had the chance to see him. Oh yeah, and since he thought that I had PCOS (until he looked at the rest of the lab results) and was wrong...he didn't even charge me for today. Sweet, huh?

Babysitting

Allen and I got to babysit my neices last night. They are such a couple of hams! One of them absolutely loved the dogs and kept saying "How coot" the other would start crying and run away if any of them came anywhere near her. And heaven forbid if one of them laid on her blanket!

Allen came home after a long 12 hour shift and still helped babysit. I just love that man! I am so blessed to have him in my life. He kept getting this book handed to him until he sat down and read it to her, just looking at the pages wasn't good enough. Lol. He's gonna make such a cute daddy!Then when we ate dinner Honey didn't say the blessing loud enough so Tiny sat there with her arms folded just looking at us until Allen said another one so she could hear it, then beamed with delight when she got to say "Amen". It was so stinkin' cute!!! Their mom and dad are doing an awesome job raising them.

Just One More Doctor

I'm a little excited and very hesitant to get my hopes up and be excited at the same time. I've found a doctor who seems to know a LOT about PCOS (the reason for my infertility) and he believes in treating the problem-not just the symptoms!
First of all 10 years ago when I was diagnosed we ended up putting hundreds if not a couple thousand into being referred, referred, referred...until I was seeing a reproductive endocrinologist. I was extremely fortunate and blessed to see him because at the time PCOS had only been "discovered" about five years earlier. With Utah medicine basically being 20 yrs behind the rest of the country not very many knew it even existed, I wouldn't be surprised if he was the only one in Utah at the time. Even though he could diagnose it then there wasn't a "known treatment" so he basically told me this is the problem...good luck.
Well, for 10 yrs I have seen I don't know how many different doctors and none of them had any idea what to do with it. VERY frustrating and thousands of tears were shed out of frustration alone.
Of all places, I found this new doctor through my old chiropractor when Allen and I took some Mona Vie to share with him. He told me about bioidentical hormones (which can't be patented because they are natural and can't be owned by a company so of course insurance won't cover them because the doctors won't get a cut for prescribing them) and there was a Dr. that was using them working with women to get their hormones straightened out and having very positive results.
We sat on the information for a while. But then, just the other day I was cleaning off the desk and found the cd, popped it in the player, and we listened. What we heard was interesting but I put it on the back burner in my head--like it could possibly end up any different than before, you know you pay to see the doctor a few times and he treats you like a guinea pig then he finally says, "Well, everything looks pretty normal. I don't know what else I can do for you."
But a few days later it popped back into my head and I couldn't get it out until I finally called and set up an appt. So I went to my first appt. last Friday and of course took back up (my Mom, Al had to work) when we left and were talking about it we both felt like he knew what he was talking about and his plan of attack was correct. So here we go on another journey. Where we will end up...I sure don't know, but IF he is correct (I feel he is) and I do what he says...life could get real exciting around here! Even if he isn't right, I think there is a lot I can learn from him about PCOS. Or he might lead us to the right thing.
If anyone has a crystal ball available I would really be interested in renting it. :)

Winter

These long winter nights plus the fog sure gets one feeling down quick. Even though winters seem so bleak, when I take a minute to stop and look at how beautiful it is...it's kind of breathtaking.Though the snow is old, most of it is still white and sparkly some even untouched, and the frost that the fog brings is so beautiful, especially when the warm sun decides to peak out from behind the fog and clouds,then I look around and everything has a white heavenly glow with the beautiful blue sky behind it! God really doesn't make mistakes! I just wish I knew how to photograph it so it did the Lord's handy work justice.

What if...

I couldn't sleep tonight. I just lay there staring at the ceiling with all these "what ifs" racing through my head. Some of them very unimportant others so life changing I can't even begin to comprehend the effects on my life and everyone near and dear to me if the "What if" came true. You all know what I'm talking about. Start with one and end up with a million.

Tonight...my "what ifs" feel like a blessing. I know Albert Einstein was correct when he said, “Imagination is everything, it is the preview of life’s coming attractions.” I feel like soon the major "what if" that keeps dancing in my mind is a "coming attraction". My stomach has butterflies and I feel giddy like a little school girl! Maybe it's not going to be real soon, but I know it's going to happen, my spirit feels like it's rejoicing. It's such a foreign feeling because that hope and dream I shelved a while ago.

But...Heavenly Father doesn't put dreams in our heads and hearts to haunt us, which is the way I have perceived my dream for many years. He puts them there so we can learn and grow. Teaching the old fashioned way develop a Dream-Struggle-Victory! I think my struggle might be coming to an end!!! I can almost taste the Victory! I don't know yet what it was I needed to learn through the struggle but I'm sure after the victory party has ended I will be able to look back and know what it was that took me so stinkin' long to learn. And then on to the next Dream-Struggle- (and hopefully) Victory! Read this in a book and boy is it right!

My Father’s way may twist and turn.
My heart may throb and ache.
But in my soul I’m glad I know
He makes no mistake.

My cherished plans may go astray.
My hopes may fade away.
But still I’ll trust my Lord to lead
For He does know the way.

Tho night be dark and it may seem
That day will never break;
I’ll pin my faith, my all in Him,
He makes no mistake.

There’s so much I cannot see,
My eyesight far too dim;
But come what may, I’ll simply trust
And leave it all to Him.

For by and by the mist will lift
And plain it all He’ll make
Through all the way, tho dark to me,
He made not one mistake.

A. M. Overton (1932)

I read this in "Dreams of a Woman" and it often comes to mind when I "get feelin' sorry for my poor self". Not a coincidence that it pops in to my mind me thinks. Now that's out of my head I should be able to enjoy a little shut-eye.

Bonding Time

Well, I think Gun will fit in just fine I thought this was cute Allen and Skunk bonding with him. Gun and Skunk are becoming good pals already. We don't know what is wrong with little Rio, but he seems terrified of Gun, and what makes it really odd when Mak and Zeus come in the house he growls and goes after them and thier like 20 times his size. It's gonna take some work, but they'll be buddies soon.
So for the IMPORTANT stuff...Our profile for LDSFS was approved and posted but because of the transition to the new website and program and everything there's been a few gliches. Nothin' too bad though, everthing is there except the pictures. But that should be fixed in the next day or two. But if you want you can go to http://beta.itsaboutlove.org/, go into View Adopting Family Profiles, Contiue (as a guest), click on Find a profile by ID or names, then you can type in our names or our profile ID is 9134317. Just have to warn you though...it's pretty boring. We hope the pictures will make it better, if not we may be 50 before we get chosen.

Say hellllooo to Gun

Today we went and picked up a new pup. He's half Chihuahua and half Lab. Don't know how big he's gonna get but he has plenty of room to grow. He has so much loose skin and even a double chin. He's sooo stinkin' cute! The guy holding him is pretty stinkin cute too!

Just a side note. We almost have everything done for LDS Family Services! Yaaaay! We thought we would have it done today but to our surprise we need our caseworkers approval on everything so far before we can do more. And of course she doesn't work on Mondays. Oh well. Everything in the Lord's time, we just hope the Lord has us on his schedule to be Mommy and Daddy before we're 50 (kind of not kidding).

Who thought it would be so much work just filling out all the "paperwork"? Which is now online, so is it still paperwork? Hmmm. In the end it will be so worth it and then some...okay a LOT more than some! Until then we have our "kids" to keep us busy. By the time all the paperwork is done and everything approved, even our newest member of the family should be well trained and no problem.

Here We Go!!!

Neither one of us has a facebook thing or my space or anything like that so be patient as we figure this out. Although we should probably figure it out pretty quick. We are finally moving forward with LDS Family Services and finishing everthing for adoption. We know...Took us long enough. Anyway, that's what inspired this but we would love for everyone to visit (we'll try to keep it all updated n everything).
By the way if anyone has suggestions on how to make this better or more fun or whatever PLEASE let us newbies know!
Also, birth parents are going to have access to this so if you happen to have any pictures that would give more information about who we are or what we are about if you would email that to us that would be fabulous and very helpful. We don't have very many pictures of us. Okay, we have quite a few pictures of Allen because I love to take pictures but not very many of me, and even less of us together. And if you post any comments there can't really be identifying information.
Thank you everone for your support and thank you in advance for your help! We love you all and feel so blessed to have you in our lives!