My Beautiful Roses

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this rosebush!!! We bought it back the end of Feb, I think, and planted it. I really thought it had no chance. But it was only a few bucks so Allen said, "What the heck. Might as well give it a bit of a chance." So we brought it home and threw it in the ground. We knew it had more of a chance there than in the plastic bag it was in. It really struggled for a while. Thought we were gonna lose it.

Then the spring was really wet and mild and it pulled through beautifully. This is the coolest part though, when it first blooms it's almost white in the middle (see 1st pic). Then as the sun is on it more the petals darken until it's a dark magenta (see 3rd pic).

Kind of magical and so pretty too!!

4 Of Our Furbabies Have To Go :(

I'm so angry at our city!!! Friday afternoon there was a knock on the door. An older guy was standing there. I assumed he was going to ask the usual questions about the shop next door that I have nothing to do with.
So I opened the door and he said, "How are you?"
Me: "Good. How are you?"
Him: "Well, I'm really sorry, but I have to give you a citation for too many dogs."
Me: "Okay..."
Him: "I'm real sorry but the city is really strict on this one."
So I invited him in to where it was cooler and quieter.
I told him that before we got that many we had my brother (who was a cop for the city) look into it and find out what the laws are as far as the number of dogs you can have. He found nothing limiting the number you can have. He insisted it IS a law and the city is very strict.
When he went out to write up the citation I woke Allen up and told him what was going on. He said that's a load of crap because not only did Sam look up the animal laws his Lt did too!
Well, the guy came back in and Allen talked to him about it. Come to find out, it's not in the animal laws it's under the nuisance ordinances!!! Funny thing is he didn't say someone complained because they were being a nuisance. He said he found out because he pulled off the road to talk on the phone and they all came to the fence.
I know they aren't a nuisance because we keep their poop cleaned up so it isn't smelly or anything, and they only bark occasionally because unless there is a good reason to bark we muzzle them. Not only that, the woman across the street whom my mom cleans house for says she never hears them barking!!! She has told my mom that on many occasion because it surprises her because there are so many of them. Grrr!!! So angry!!! and sad:(
Luckily Sam has always had a bond with Rio and they wanted a more sturdy dog for the kids so he took my two favorites. So sad to see them go. But we have already been out to their house twice since Sunday when they picked them up and I think they are going to be just fine. I miss them sooo much though!
I think my in-laws will take Zeus for a time anyway, they want a big dog to sit in the store with my ma-in-law. Until after the court date anyway. Then we will see what the judge says. I'm hoping if I can prove to him that they aren't a nuisance I will be able to keep them. Until then though, they will have new homes to be adjusting to. Hopefully the last one we need to find a new home for (which ever one it may be) will be close and I will get to at least check on him for the first while.
Then there is just one more to find a home for. We don't know if we should find one for Dozer or Mak...or maybe even Skunk. I don't know...how do you choose? They are all my little furbabies. It's so strange to have just the two already gone.
Not only that we picked up a little kitten a while ago. He was supposed to be an outdoor kitty. Somehow it didn't happen. But neither one of us wants another indoor cat so we are looking for a new home for him. Hopefully that happens soon because he is so adorable and plays so well with the dogs!!! So stinkin' cute!!!

Albino Zucchini?

What the...? When we first noticed our little albino we thought as it got bigger it would darken. Nope!!! We have an albino zucchini growing in our garden, how freakin' cool is that? The entire plant doesn't grow'em albino. Just this one. How strange. Anyone ever hear of a albino zucchini before?

Baby Names

I want twins and always have, twin boys to be exact. When I'm finally able to get preggers I feel I will be having boys. The first I thought of this really was about 10 yrs ago, shortly after we got married. We had decided there was no time like the present to start trying for a baby. Although we both knew it was going to be a struggle. So in my hopeful thinking I decided that if we were going to have a baby it was going to need a name. I ended up looking through year books to get ideas. In Allen's Snow College yr bk I found the name I was looking for, Gunner. I wanted the baby, if a boy, to be named after his daddy so I decided on Allen Gunner and he will go by Gunner. I didn't tell Allen about it, I don't think, until we had been trying for a few years with no luck. He really liked the name so lucky for us that was decided.
With the want of twins we needed a second name. Allen came up with Andreas Michle. Named after both of our dads. I think he did really well. Technically not after his dad because he doesn't have a middle name it's just the initial "A", but it stands for Andreas. My dad has always hated the way his name is spelled because people think it's Michelle. So if we need the second name...would it still be named after my dad if we change the spelling to a more traditional spelling? Hmmm.
So what do you think of the names Allen Gunner Jensen and Andreas Michle Jensen?

Where's the Path of Our Journey Going to Take Us?

Since I'm pretty sure that we are going to be able to create a family (recent development) I've of lately wondered why we needed to get approved through LDS Family Services for adoption... When we started the process we both felt pretty strongly that's what we needed to do to create our family. If we wouldn't have felt strongly about it, I really don't think we would've spent the $1000 just to get the approval to start on getting approved. Frustration with the process, miscommunication with the agency, and not wanting to submit to the diagnosis of infertile slowed us down and eventually stopped us.
So for a time our profile sat idle, not quite approved. Then kind of out of the blue we were still laying in bed talking one morning about how we should just finish our profile. The phone rang and I just knew it was our caseworker. I said to Allen, "That's Sarah now. Guess that's a sign we really need to get it completed." It wouldn't be weird if we had been talking to her on a regular basis, but we hadn't talked to her for a couple months. Oh yeah, it was her. So after talking to her we both felt very inspired to finish and we did. But this all begs the question, "Are we supposed to adopt, too?"
I'll be honest, I haven't given it much thought, I've just assumed that is what the future holds. But...Will I still want to after I am able to have even just one of my own? I know some people get offended by others who have biological children of their own and yet want to adopt. It doesn't bother me I just assume they are doing what feels right for them, but would it be fair and would I feel right about taking a baby that could go to a different loving home where the parents aren't able to have kids? Or maybe there was something along the journey of getting approved that actually changed our lives and that is not the path for us at all. I don't know and once again I have no crystal ball to gaze into to get my answers, heaven knows I wish I did.
It's just crazy to think about all the pieces of the puzzle that seem to fit nowhere, then one day you realize...not only do they fit but they are key parts to making the puzzle complete. It brings everything together and connects it in a way that no other piece can. A different picture on the piece would make it not work or jive with the picture it would look funny and make it uncomfortable to look at, and a little bit different shape would make it not fit at all. The puzzle I am talking about is perfect...there are no pieces that don't belong. I just wonder where this little piece fits in my life?
This thought has brought me back to a book I've read, many times actually. It's called "The Dreamgiver" It's actually a parable but it is such a good book. Makes me cry like a baby every time. And it's such a quick read! Only takes about an hour to read it. When I have kids it will be a bedtime story that they will hear over and over and over.
If you have made it clear through this post...very sorry so long. So many things swimming through my head and Allen's sleeping (working graveyards right now) so I have to let it out somewhere. :)

Looking Back

Allen and I have been talking about what if we do get pregnant? Talking about the possibility causes us to pause for a minute and think.

Neither one of us has wanted, desired or craved anything as long as we have wanted to have a family. When infertility raises it's ugly, oh, so ugly, head it does something to couples. Not only does it make us want what we can't have even more, which is the natural human response to being told no. It also either brings them closer together because they are fighting together to achieve a goal or it tears them apart because they don't know how to hang on to each other and look to the other for support when the going gets rough, and boy howdy does it get rough! Really though, how could it not get rough with all the anger, sadness, disappointment, fear, emptiness, heartache, loneliness and embarrassment that goes with it? Allen and I have experienced both ends of the spectrum. Hence the being divorced for a year, then a second wedding. Lol. Thank goodness we learned to communicate, give and take support and work together!

Don't' know why I just wrote all that but I guess when our kids are grown I will have had this put into a book and they will be able to read this and maybe appreciate all we went through to bring them to our family. Hehehe.

The pictures I just had to add because they are really the only two pics of our 2nd wedding. It was in my parents front room, Allen's dad performed the ceremony (Mayor of Centerfield) and the only ones we had there were our parents. We did have a family dinner after though. What a redneck I married...twice! Love him though, wouldn't trade him for anything!!!

Just A Daydream

Be patient with me please. You know how people get when they are excited about something...just can't stop talking about it. Well, right now I'm beyond excited about the idea of being able to give Allen children. Still not pregnant but at least I can once again dream about it and that is exactly what I am doing.
In my mind this is pretty close to what our babies will look like. I'm really hoping they have Allen's olive complexion, dark curly (wavy when short) hair and brown eyes. And very much wanting boys...I just don't know if I could handle a girl. I really don't know how my mom put up with me.
I know how boys think and I get it, but girls...it's beyond me. Not all, just most. I've always had more guy friends than girl friends just for the simple fact I can talk to guys so much easier. They really are a pretty simple people...they like it the biggest, baddest, fastest and if it's dangerous, even better.
Anyway, saw this picture on some website and it sent me into a daydream. It started with blue eyes but I don't believe I'll ever have a blue-eyed baby so to bring you into my daydream a little bit better I changed the eyes to match how I saw it. I would've put it in my arms but...it didn't have a body in the picture and I'm not that good with the computer. So the brown eyes is as far as I could bring you.
I guess I am a strange one...sharing my daydream...what a nut. Hehe. BTW, any prayers you wanna send up to heaven for us would be appreciated. :)

As requested, here's a green/hazel eyed baby with closer to my complexion. Not as cute as olive skin and brown eyes...boy...I hope they take after their daddy.