Patience...Where Can I Get Some?

"Patience is a virtue" my mom used to tell me.

I have a REALLY big problem with being patient!!! It's no secret, just ask Allen. Lol
Let me tell ya a little story. In the weeks I have been taking DCI at one point I decided to start charting my BBT. Well, that chart showed that I did in fact ovulate. Long story made short I messed things up. I did it MY way, instead of the right way. NOW I've added weeks (not counting the months it will take for the planets to align just right) on to the time I'll be waiting to actually see if my body really will do an entire cycle. If it does...then Al and I can hopefully create a mini-me (actually I'd prefer a mini-Al...or two) I am sooo irritated with myself!! Grrr!! If I had only listen to my mom and learned to be patient!
This poem came to mind today as I was doing yard work and kicking myself in the caboose.

My Father’s way may twist and turn.
My heart may throb and ache.
But in my soul I’m glad I know
He makes no mistake.

My cherished plans may go astray.
My hopes may fade away.
But still I’ll trust my Lord to lead
For He does know the way.

Tho night be dark and it may seem
That day will never break;
I’ll pin my faith, my all in Him,
He makes no mistake.

There’s so much I cannot see,
My eyesight far too dim;
But come what may, I’ll simply trust
And leave it all to Him.

For by and by the mist will lift
And plain it all He’ll make
Through all the way, tho dark to me,
He made not one mistake.

A. M. Overton (1932)

When am I going to find the faith I know I should have? If I had more faith I think it would make the waiting game easier to endure. *sigh* I mean, I know that He doesn't make mistakes and things go the way they do because it is the best way. Right now though with the possibility being sooo close I can taste it...everyday seems like a lifetime!!! Then brainiac me goes and prolongs the wait...smart...real smart.

Hey if anyone out there has a time machine that they would lend out that would be great! I don't want to change anything in the future I just want to check it out...see what happens...ya know? Ahh, if it were just that simple.

Happy B-day My Knight in Shining Armor!

I can't believe my sweetheart is 35!!! And every year he gets better and better! I just love this guy!!! I thank Heavenly Father everyday for blessing me with such an awesome husband. Not that he's perfect...but a lot closer than I am. I think I married up. He's got such a strong testimony, he's the smartest guy I know, and he loves me unconditionally. What a man!!!
I just worry...are we too old be trying to get pregnant and barely start a family? If we got really lucky and he gets me knocked up before Aug., which he's been threatin' to do for a decade, the baby could be born before his 36th b-day but still that would make him over 50 when the kid graduates. Ahhh! Half way to the grave! Thinking about this I'm seriously wondering if we should just not worry about it and just be happy with our fur-babies...hmmm.
But at the same time I have to look at it this way too. Right now would be a perfect time because our Mona Vie business is starting to take off and if we work really hard within the next year Allen could be a stay home dad and be there for a lot of the pregnancy...that would make the late start worth it. I can't even imagine if my dad would've been able to be a stay home dad. That would've been so awesome!!!
So, being able to provide the kind of relationship with our children that would be possible with both of us always around to provide support in whatever they do...Okay, I do think it would be okay to start a family now. Especially drinking Mona Vie because the Resveratrol in it stops the aging process (according to Dr. Oz and Dr Schauss) so maybe we would be able to live longer happier more active lives with them. Physically I do actually feel younger now and more energetic than I did like 5 yrs ago. Hadn't thought about it until now. Okay, we'll stay the course of trying to concieve.
Wow! That was quite a venting session. I do worry though about being past our prime baby-making years...but I guess that's only according to "Utah standards" hehehe. Anywhere else in the world we're still too young to be settlin' down and building a family.
Sorry about all that but feels good to let it out. :) Been stewin' on it since last night when I realized it was Allen's birthday today.

Insulin Level Down!!!

So as some know I went and asked a doc to prescribe an insulin blood test. Well, I'm am happy to say that my insulin (after 5 weeks of d-chiro-inositol) has dropped from 43.7 to 10.5!!! YAY!!! Still not low enough but I do have a back-up plan. hehehe. I guess the "acceptable range" is 6 to 25. The closer I can get it to 6 the better so...on to plan B. Still no aunt flo though...hmmm. Oh well, not gonna worry about that I guess until I can get my insulin down a few more points then EVERYTHING will be "normal". Yeah--if there is a normal

Catching Up

I had the best day yesterday!!! I got to catch up with an old friend. Y'all probably know him, it was Rocky. When I answered the door and there he was, he told me I looked the same (bless his heart, he ignored the 100+ lbs I've put on) he made me a bit jealous, he's been going to the gym and working out. Man he's a muscley dude now! In school he was really skinny but he's bulked up and he looks so good! I hadn't seen him for...well...at least 6 or 7 years. We never did get it figured out for sure.
It's amazing to me how things can change so much but yet be so the same.
At first glance he looked so different, but to look at him...he was exactly the same, just a LOT buffer. I can't explain it, it was just so weird! We went to lunch with my mom, to Olive Garden (my fave). She was really excited to see him again too. I had so much fun reminiscing about school days with him. Every memory from Jr High through High School involves him. He said that exact thing while we were driving around. It made me feel so old when we were trying to figure out the last time we saw each other! I still feel like I'm 20 or 21, but DANG I've been out of school for 13 years! That's as many years as I went to school.
I really better get on this baby makin' stuff...my times runnin' out. :) Not really, I know. I still have another decade...me thinks. Everything in the Lord's time.

Sharing My Flowers

Flowers are starting to bloom--yay!

I thought I would just take a minute and share some of my flowers with you. The Bachelor Buttons have surprised us this year. They usually never get as tall as they have evenwith me watering them. They are so pretty and the blooms are like twice the size too.

The Honeysuckle we just planted a couple weeks ago. The same day we planted radishes, potatoes and tomatoes out in the garden. Oh, and a maple tree in the yard. The Myrtle (that's what Mom has always called it anyway) it has been growing around the foundation of this house since long before I was born. I believe it was brought here from Pleasant Grove by my Grandma from her Mom's (my Great-Grandma) yard. We have a rosebush that was started from a rose from my Great-Grandma's yard also. Kind of funny how now that I am older I'm starting to get all sentimental...sigh. I would have a picture of the rose but...they aren't bloomin' yet. The bird, he just flew over my head while I was snapping pictures, probably because I got too close to the bird feeder. He was cute so I had to snap a pic.

This may be of interest, or maybe not...Anywho I finally got a doc to order a lab to see how far my insulin has dropped since I have been taking DCI. I'm pretty excited. I really, really, really, really, and a bunch more reallys, hope that it is within normal range! I'm supposed to call the office in a couple days to find out. I KNOW that it is definately lower by quite a bit, but I don't know if it could drop to 10% of what it was in a months time. I guess I'll find out.

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all the Moms!!! Though I don't have the priviledge of being mom yet I have no fear of being a mom because I had the BEST Mom in the ENTIRE world as an example!!!

Growing up we didn't have a lot but mom had even less.
While in school we always felt like we had a ton of homework but mom did more.
When times got tough and I felt like crying mom already was because she hated seeing me unhappy.
The moments when I thought I would rather be dead mom would take me out to lunch and let me know how special I am.
I would start mixing with the wrong crowd and mom would be there helping me see that's not where I really wanted to be.
The days I felt especially ugly and down on myself mom would be there with a compliment on something specific that I could feel good about.
The times I would be leaving to hang out with friends mom never missed the opportunity to remind me I'm not just her daughter...I'm also a Child of God.
I would get myself into a pickle and mom would help me figure out how to get myself out.
My teenage years were hard but they were much harder on mom.
After I was miserably married mom was there to hold my hand and point me in the right direction for help.
During infertility crisis times mom was always there reassuring me that God hadn't forgot about me or the dream he put in my heart. At the same time letting me know she knew she could never understand the heartache, but I know she did ache just as bad just not for the same reason.
Mom isn't just my Mom she's my best-friend-forever. I don't know why I have the priviledge of being her daughter, quite often I feel I don't deserve her. I am so greatful to Heavenly Father for blessing me with such an honor to call her Mom.
Isn't the first picture cute of my mommy! She told me that was her favorite dress. It was red velvet. Not suprising...she's as good a grandma as she is a mom. Can't tell her grandson loves her at all can ya?

Employment Time

I dropped off an application today at Walkers (gas station). I'm not sure exactly why but I was in there the other day and saw the sign in the window. You know the gut feeling you get when your supposed to do something well...that's what I felt. But I'm pretty excited because I always said if I didn't HAVE to work and I could work anywhere I wanted, I would work at a gas station. It's not a fulfilling job but I really enjoy it. So many people! Some you like and others you duck into the cooler to hide from when they come in. Not that I ever did that before. Lol.
Anywho, so I think I'm gonna be working at a gas station soon. I'm kind of not wanting to but at the same time it'll be fun meeting new people and actually having friends again. Not only that, I'm sure I'll meet people looking for either a product or opportunity that Mona Vie offers. I love it! It will give Allen and I some playing money, get me out of the house, help me make new friends AND help us build our business. What a win-win situation! I never thought I would be excited to go back to work. Funny how things work out.

Easter Fun

On Easter the objective was to go on an Easter Egg hunt and gold prospecting at the same time. Our Easter Egg hunts involve guns, it's really fun! Those little eggs blow up sooo good just with .22 or .17. Skunk wasn't feeling too good so he slept on the way down. He really likes laying on the dashboard because it keeps him nice and cozy warm.
So we went down to Allen's parents' house where the group grew a little more than what was originally planned. It was just going to be Us and Allen's little Bro, wife and son. His parents and sister were planning on going out and collecting red rock or something. Dad had to go conduct or teach the lesson at church (he's in the prison bishopric) Anyway they (Mom and Kristine) decided to go with us, oh yeah and Allen's grandma came along too.
This is how it works. You set up the easter eggs, shoot 'em and watch them explode. Pretty simple and straight forward. After an afternoon of shooting and tailgate lunch party we decided it was time to go back to the house because Allen's dad would be getting home.
Then he wanted to go do something so we decided to go explore this rock canyon they had gone gold prospecting in a while ago.






They had found a camp where someone was actually living so they decided they should probably not spend too much time there.
Whoever it was though had moved out by the time we went exploring.
At the mouth of this little canyon there is a dinosaur head in the rocks kind of cool I thought.
Anyway Keith's wife decided to stay home because it had been a pretty long day for her since she is prego and due May 20 something.


There was some pretty fun rocks to climb over here. I apologize I get a little snap happy, but I wanted to share a few of my pictures. Allen and his Dad had fun helping his nephew (who is afraid of heights) up some of the rocks. And Allen is a flippin' mtn goat so I had to take a picture of him on top of this rock that was totally unnecessary for him to climb up. Then there is a picture of everyone climbing down the last rock pile on our way out.
It was a lot of fun, but it is always fun when we go exploring. The dogs even had a blast they had to get a little bit of help going up some of the rocks but they actually went a lot more places than we thought was possible.

Prayer

I just received this in an email:

"Prayer is a privilege and the soul's sincere desire. We can move beyond routine and 'checklist' prayers and engage in meaningful prayer as we appropriately ask in faith and act, as we patiently persevere through the trial of our faith, and as we humbly acknowledge and accept 'not my will, but Thine, be done.' "I witness the reality and divinity of our Eternal Father, of His Only Begotten Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and of the Holy Ghost. I testify that our Father hears and answers our prayers. May each of us strive with greater resolve to ask in faith and thereby make our prayers truly meaningful." David A. Bednar, "Ask in Faith," Ensign, May 2008, 97

I remember as a little girl my mom would always tell us to say our prayers before bed. It seems like one week sometime I had been told when praying I need to imagine that I am kneeling at Heavenly Fathers feet talking to him, like I would talk to my Earthly father. So I did, in my mind I saw myself kneeling at his feet with my arms resting on his lap then started to pray. This was the first time I knew without a doubt that my Heavenly Father is there and he does listen to our prayers. I felt like I was floating, and everything was peaceful, I was calm on the inside. I had to peak really quick to make sure my bed was still there but when I finished my prayer, I remember not wanting to open my eyes because I didn't want the feeling to go away. The next night I told my mom about it and asked her to say prayers with me, I wanted her to feel what I did. To my dismay it didn't work. :( I asked her why it was different this time. I think, I'm not completely sure, but I think she explained how sometimes when people pray their hearts and minds are open to Heavenly Father more than other times so it's easier for Him to communicate with us and to let us know he's there.
It took this email to help me remember this experience but while thinking about it I am very ashamed that I have not had more experiences like this, especially knowing it's my choice to get these spiritual hugs from Heavenly Father (or not). He's willing to give them at anytime. We just have to ask. And they feel so good!!!

Parsley Tea and DCI

No real big Ooo La La thing but just a real quick update. This is only the 3rd day taking DCI and all day yesterday and not yet today have I had a sweet or carb craving!!! Something is happening, because I don't remember the last time that I didn't want sweets. I think before I could've eaten them ALL day (no joke) and still wanted more, it would've given me a humogenous headache but I still would've wanted them. And my appetite seems to be normalizing...I eat and it takes a few hours before I want to eat again.
As far as the parsley tea...eh...don't think it's doin' it's thing. A few little cramps but no sign of aunt flo. Which is okay I guess. If the DCI normalizes things...eventually she'll come knockin'. But oh man, it's so nice not having a constant nagging craving for anything sweet (sometimes bad enough it would feel like I would die if I didn't get some. Oh-oh-oh, it did do one thing for me, it helped me lose 3 lbs in the last 3 days because it's a diuretic and helps cleanse the body. Today is my last day to drink it then all that will come back because I am thirsty!
Pretty exciting about the DCI though, me thinks. I just hope it does everything they claim is possible.