How Things Change

I can't get out of my head how different things are in our marriage. The first time we were married within six months I wanted out, at one point I actually left but was guilted in to going back. Then we got marriage counseling...that was a frickin' joke! All we found out there was I am a "black widow spider" and the counselor told me it was all me because if he didn't do things exactly how I wanted then I would attack. So for the next three years or so we were miserable together, I mean there was NO love. Okay, we loved each other but we didn't like each other. So I found a way out and I ran, out of state actually. But within a year we both new that we were needed each other, not to mention the Lord knew and kept making our paths cross. So we decided to take another stab at it. I think we were both a little skeptical but we were more miserable apart than we were together.

Things went well for a minute, then started back into the same ol' stuff. We were hoping and praying for help to figure out how to make it work when an angel (not literally) showed up at our door and shared some stuff with us that lead us to a bunch of people whose main objective is to help people improve themselves and their lives. They introduced us to books. At first we both resisted. Neither one of us liked to read or had read since we were in school.

But then we read "The Five Love Languages" that changed our marriage. Our love languages are so different, no wonder why neither of us felt loved. There was still more to learn though. Then we were told about "Love and Respect". WOW! What a powerful book! Reading this and talking about it changed things sooooo much! Now we understood each other and ourselves. We always new how differently men and women are wired but never could quite understand in what ways. This book cleared it right up. But you put those two books together and actually talk about them.......it's truely amazing how things can change.

I don't think I will ever quit reading now. Because out of every book that I read there is at least one nugget that I can take and apply to the way I live and it just makes it that much better. Next ones on my list are "His Needs Her Needs" "The Five Languages of Apology" "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People" "Good to Great" "How to Win Friends and Influence People" "Launching a Leadership Revolution" (I think I need a repeat of "The Anatomy of Peace" there was just so much I couldn't soak it all in one time through) and there's a bunch of others just sitting on the shelves calling my name, telling me there is something for me in them.

Allen has read most of them which is probably the reason our marriage and relationship is on such an upward spiral. If I would get on the ball and get all of them read I can't even imagine how good things could be and how fast. I guess the thing that matters though is things are getting better every day. I wouldn't trade Allen or our relationship for anything. I am so blessed to have this wonderful man for eternity. I just know he is going to be the best daddy ever! (When that day comes I suspect he'll read a bunch of books on how to successfully raise children and what to expect, just about anything he can find me thinks, we already have "The Five Love Languages of Children".)